4 Months... delayed. A letter to our son.

Sweet Son, 

How has it been 4 months? 4 Months you have been living in our house, sleeping snugged up beside our bed, cuddling in our arms, and filling up our hearts. You, precious boy, are so deeply, deeply loved. You love to talk, and squeak, and you hoot like an owl. You are fascinated by your fingers, and prefer to chew on them, rather than your paci. This morning I was feeding you and you reached up and rested your hand against my cheek... and my heart literally melted.

This coming week you have your four month check up, which also means you'll have some vaccinations... not your favorite, or mine. And buddy, it will hurt... it just will, and you will scream and cry and want to be rescued from it. Your arms will flail and your legs will kick and hot tears will fall. But I want you to know, the pain won't last. The sting and the burn will fade. It will not hurt forever. And sweetheart, that is the way of it with so many different aches and pains on this earth. They sting and they burn... but they subside, gradually, never as quickly as you'll want, but it will lessen... one degree at a time. 

Be brave, Bud. Be brave.  

Brave does not mean 'Don't hurt.' Brave does not mean 'Don't feel." It also does not mean 'Don't cry out when it hurts.' Son, Brave means that even when you know it's going to cause pain, you square your shoulders, bite your lip and you press forward. You press forward because it is the right thing to do. You press forward when there is a little guy getting teased or bullied, and you can intervene. When in that moment, you know that you can stand with him and let him know he's got someone on his side, that he's not alone. You press forward when you've broken a house rule, which led to a broken vase or dish or picture frame... and you know that telling the truth will also mean discipline. Square your shoulders, Son. Come and tell us. You press forward when you see something hurting or sick or sad and when averting your eyes would be easier, and moving in means sacrifice. You move in. You comfort. You open yourself up to the pain of someone else. You press forward even when you are scared, even when you know it will hurt.

Be brave, Bud. Be brave. 

Know that the pain that feels so excruciating in the moment, will not last forever. Know that mom and dad are on your team. We are on your side. We are standing with you.  When you are choosing to be brave, know that you are not alone. You. Are. Not. Alone. You are not alone, Son. We are rallying behind you. And when it stings and burns, tell us. Tell us that it hurts. We will listen. We will comfort. We will bring the graham crackers and the icing, if that is what you need.

But in that moment... that moment when your heart is saying yes and no at the same time. When you want to be brave, and you want to be safe, and you have a split second to choose which way to run. In that moment when it feels like it's you and the giant, and squaring your shoulders feels impossible... lift your eyes. 

Lift your eyes to the mountains Buddy. Where does your help come from? Your help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. 

Be brave, Bud. Be brave. 

Love, 

Daddy & Mommy